Partially Transcript :
..
Especially : this part
Death to self and all the cares of the world.
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around and around the fact and it cannot escape the fact that death is the end of it and then death comes and death is the
end period see a life that has nothing but a straight line
towards the grave and a lot of little circular lines to forget the grave as you travel towards
the grave see distractions and so forth and uh is a life of care and it's a life
of ever increasing care and it's a life of frustration and it's a life of futility see
and this is what is meant by the world in the bad sense of the word now ideally speaking the hermit life is
supposed to be the life in which all care is completely put aside first of all because it is a death see it accepts
completely death as a a completely built in fact in life it is
a death to society it's a death of certain constellations of society and so forth it's a death to certain kinds of
support and it is a renunciation of even care of a person doesn't go into solitude simply
to practice a lot of virtues see if that's what's supposed to be happening i'm probably not going to be
able to make the grave but you go into solitude in order to cast
your care upon the lord which is what i was saying last time let me read this this sentence
a couple of sentences from corsad which give the whole essence of it and these this is absolutely applicable to the
synovic life as well as the solitary life because both are operating on the same principle
first of all self-abandonment which is this is what we're here for see this business of
surrendering totally to god self-abandonment is that continual forgetfulness of self which leaves the
soul free to eternally love god untroubled by those fears reflections
regrets and anxieties which the care of one's own perfection and salvation gives
now what he's saying there of course i should read that through five or six times because each word is important but
we haven't got time now what he's saying there he is accusing monks actually
of what we do we come from the world and we leave behind worldly cares and we come into a little
world of the monastery which is full of its little cares of its own see the the the trouble with our life
whether solitary i mean a solitary life can be the same thing you can just be devoured by care there too
the trouble with the monastic life is that it's supposed to be a life without care and we have filled it with care we
fill it completely with care we are devoured by care see
care about our job care about our life of prayer care about how we're getting on care about what other people are
doing care about this care about that we're devoured with these and then the
kind of thoughts of the fears reflections regrets anxieties see fears
reflections this constant business do you deny that our life is a life of
care well then do you deny that we're constantly constantly going over reflecting reflecting he said this and
he
made this sign and i made this sign and next time i'm going to make
this sign and he'll drop dead because it's going to be a real sign it's
going to
get a cross and this is care see there are things
we're caring about we're we're caring about this we're caring if they're going to get that red cheese
instead of that other cheese if it's that red cheese for supper i'm going to throw up right in the middle of
the reflection and so forth well this is care thing and what we are
here
for is to get rid of that and of course you get rid of it by going
through it now here is this beautiful passage which i i think
it is my opinion at least what i think that i'm supposed to do living up on top of that hill is purely and simply this
and this is what i'm what i'm asking you to pray for that i may do it because i think also it's what you're supposed to
do down here and what we're all supposed to do one way or another since god offers to take upon himself
the care of our affairs let us once for all abandon them to his infinite wisdom that we may never more
be occupied with ought but him and his interests period see
since god offers to take upon himself the care of our affairs that is the monastic life and that is
above all the solitary life that is what the solitary life means see
it is a life in which you no longer care about anything because god is taking care of everything see
he takes care in the sense i mean this is why you don't have a great deal of context with that
with the world you're not terribly occupied with a lot of people you're not terribly occupied with a lot
of works and projects and so forth you are simply letting god take care of all those things see all that needs to be
taken care of he will take care of with the help of the interior seller once in a while
but uh the informarian and so forth they will run up with the band-aid if necessary
but but you cast your care upon the lord now this is what love is see let's face
the fact let's let our hair down which is which is non-existent but let us let us let us face the fact for once
what we're here for is love see and what is love when you love another person you simply
forget yourself and think about the other person you are not concerned with yourself and you and if you love this
other person and you know that it's mutual you know the other person is thinking about you see so that what happens is in love
is that each one forgets himself in order to live in and for the other and he doesn't have to think about
himself because the other will think of him now this is what god asks of us he asks us to live in such a way that he
will do the thinking about us that we don't have to think about ourselves he will think about us
and
what i think that we should learn to do i think as we get along in a
spiritual life is we have to learn to do this even in matters of virtue
see
cosad
whose doctrine we're following here at the moment even says that
actually you should reach the point where you don't think about virtue
at
all you don't think about whether you're doing good or at all you just do what you do see well this presupposes that
you have been practicing some virtue and a presuppose that you're leading a fairly halfway decent life you're not in
jail
all the time and you're not don't have the cops on your tail all day
long and that sort of thing you're more or less in the clear
see and you because anything you do god will take care of you do things the the
obvious things that that call for that are called for by your situation and then god puts virtue into this see so
you are no longer worrying about whether you're virtuous or not you just live
you live without care and without concern for anything of yourself see now of course this is not exactly easy in
the
solitary life because one of the things that you're liable to get into
in a solitary life is precisely care about yourself see you're liable to
worry
about
a lot of things and this is one of the things about a solitary vocation
as a person who can't be in the solitary life without
caring about himself all day long hasn't got location see you have if you're going to be in the solitary life you
have to be able to simply to forget yourself and enjoy it so that is the thing see to have god as
the whole content of one's own life see to forget oneself not to care for oneself
and to have god as the total content of one's life now what this
does and i know so far from what experience i have of it it does
it means that in fact it is sometimes possible to see
that actually things become transparent see so that
they are no longer opaque and they no longer hide god and this is true
the thing that we have to face is that life is this simple see we are living in a world that is absolutely transparent
and god is shining through it all the time and this is not just
a fable or a nice story it is true see and this is something we're not able to
see but if we abandon ourselves to him and forget ourselves
we see it sometimes when we see it maybe frequently see that god manifests himself everywhere in
everything in people and in things and in
nature and in events and so forth so that it becomes very obvious that he is
everywhere and he's in everything and we can't be without him you cannot be without god it's impossible it's just
simply impossible the only thing is that we don't see it see now this is again what we're here for
and what is it that makes the world opaque and makes it
not transparent anymore it is care see because everything becomes opaque in
proportion as we regard it as an individual object and we become concerned with it see there's this
individual thing there's this day that i have to live through it's a particular day it's not here and so it's opaque see
it comes to me it's it comes to me in a big opaque package and i spend my time opening it up
and then when i've taken all the package apart then it's the evening it's the examination of conscience and i examined
myself and i took off all the paper off the package and there wasn't anything in it
and then so then the next day comes along and that's what we do and then a big event comes see
uh i don't know i uh i get the job of teaching
uh something to the rabbits and then this becomes a great thing and i take the paper off of this piece by
piece by piece to sort of and then there's nothing in it either well you have to leave the rabbits what
they
are rabbits if you just see that they're rabbits you suddenly see that
they're transparent and that the rabbitness of god is
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